Saturday, May 11, 2013

The Music of My Life

The third chapter of The Hidden Art of Homemaking is the impetus for this post. It is titled simply "Music," and continues the theme of how Christians might express their creativity in their varied and unique circumstances. I am participating in the discussion of the book on Cindy's blog, Ordo Amoris. This is a long post and I apologize -- you would be smart to skip it and go do something creative!

It might have been 30 years ago that I first read Hidden Art, and I wrote on the day of the author's death how important it was in developing a vision for my life. At the time of its publication in 1971 I don't think there was anything else like it, but feminists were writing plenty about the stifling life of the typical housewife. It was lovely to have laid out before me many concrete examples of interesting people and their home-enriching activities.

Just a couple of years later, Karen Mains wrote Open Heart, Open Home, which also contributed to my Christian vision, on the theme of hospitality. And I was married in the early 70's, and enjoying keeping house and garden even before the children started arriving. When the house started filling with kids, I never lacked for creative projects and plans.

But I hadn't even read Schaeffer's book yet. My young-married-childbearing years were overflowing with culture and creativity, and I could not relate to the reader Edith seemed to be writing for, someone who is frustrated, locked up, or unfulfilled (her words).

Only recently have I been able to look back over my life and see with more understanding (I hope) why the story reads the way it does. I needed time to think, and I needed to see more of the plot toward the end, before I could notice how the first chapters fit with middle parts of my saga.

Part I contained an excess of family drama, as we call it these days, emotional and psychological stress that I didn't get any help dealing with. If you have a splitting headache it is hard to tap into your creativity. It's the same with emotional pain, maybe more so when it isn't diagnosed or even acknowledged, but stays like an always-freshening wound that makes you want to move as little as possible.

Me in Part II
What brought me into Part II was getting married to a good man and empowered to create my own story, free of distracting pain. The setting was calm and clear and full of the hope of the gospel. It was somewhat the opposite of what Schaeffer talks about, because being home was my obvious opportunity to do just about anything. I had had no lack of examples and ideas; actually, the hippie era for me segued into a homesteading spirit a la The Mother Earth News. And there were all the creative people I'd known growing up (just about everyone), while I was storing up tinder for my creative fires.

I see that I have mixed a few metaphors here trying to tell my story -- or am I writing the score for the symphony that has been playing out? Though this chapter is about music, it seems as good a place as any to bring up what seem to me to be realities on which our artistic life is built. They apply to music, too.
 
I received little musical training as a child, and I had no career that I had to put on the back burner. But growing up in church was good ear-training, and even in the Girl Scouts and in public school we sang a lot. I was lucky to marry a musician, and by means of his guitar and my singing we filled the house and our children's ears with music.

We sang in the car, using songbooks I wrote out by hand. We sang around the campfire. We parents sat on the bedroom floor and crooned lullabies to our children every night. And in church I helped the young readers to develop fluency while hymn-singing, running my finger along the page under the words while they looked on. But I don't know how to read music.

At first there wasn't money for music lessons, and I wept over the injustice of a world in which my firstborn had no opportunity for a more structured musical education. Then grandparents and great-grandparents stepped in and God provided a generous piano teacher two blocks from our house. From that time forth the provisions continued in various ways, so that eventually all of our five children learned to play at least one instrument. The photos are of them and a grandson enjoying their music. Two of our daughters became piano teachers in their teens.

But for many families, music is not something they can really accomplish. My parents could not provide it for me, but it all worked out o.k. Some women find that their distracting drama only starts when they marry, or when a child falls ill. There are women for whom getting through the day is like climbing a steep mountain, and while they might be relieved to stop and smell the flowers, it's asking a lot to tell them they ought to get out the seed catalog and develop a plan for further landscaping. But I suppose they aren't the ones reading Hidden Art.

When Schaeffer says things like, "Christian homes should...be places where there is the greatest variety of good music," I balk at the word should. I don't know how she might otherwise have presented a picture of what she considers the ideal home, but every time she says we should do this or that to develop our creative side -- and in the short Chapter 2 she used the word nine times -- I get annoyed that she is telling me what my Christian duty is.

It just seems backward to me, because I can't recall ever doing one creative homemaking thing out of a sense of duty, though I firmly believe we are all obligated to do our duty. To fear God and keep His commandments is the whole duty of man, according to Ecclesiastes (Not that we can even accomplish those basics on our own). It seems to me that the rest, the art and music and beauty, flow naturally from a human soul that is nurtured by God's love -- just as sap running up a tree trunk results in bright leaves and colorful fruit. The main thing is not to tell the tree to make fruit, but to keep the connection to the life-giving Fountain -- Who is also the One who heals all those diseases of the heart that might hinder us.

What do you know -- beauty in our life is one of the healing potions God provides. So if we start with small things that brighten our homes, say, singing a few lines from a hymn over the kitchen sink, or teaching a nursery rhyme to a toddler, just in response to the impulse, we are creating culture and feeding our own souls. It keeps the sap running, and the more the tree grows, the more sap and delicious fruit there will be.

Since Edith Schaeffer wrote this book and What is a Family, the only two of hers that I have read, thousands of families have discovered that homeschooling provides the opportunities to build the kind of family life and culture that the author presents a vision for. Just give us enough time with our children and all these good things are more likely to happen. The vision she sets forth was an ingredient in the soil that nourished my own heart and gave me the courage I needed. All the rest is in Part II, Part III, and still writing... Oh, and still singing new songs!


9 comments:

Pom Pom said...

Hi GJ!
I love Open Heart, Open Home. I read it over and over again.
I can read your joy in this post. Home is best.

melissa said...

I appreciate what you say about Part I. I can relate. And thanks for that.

Martha said...

Beautiful words...it sounds like the perfect writing and contemplation for Mother's Day! ♥ One has to take the gifts God gives them and use them, if there is no music, you can make your own!!!

Anastasia Theodoridis said...

Thanks for this! Really enjoyed reading it. Edith Schaeffer and her husband were big influences on me, too, way back when.

Sara said...

An interesting review. Thank you! I will go see what others are saying; I'm curious about it. I first became aware of this book only a couple of years ago. I tried to read it but couldn't connect. Maybe it was all those irritating "should's" you mention. It just didn't seem something for me at this stage of life with my one child long out of the nest and no grandchildren. I wonder how I would have received it back in those hippie, Whole Earth Catalog days? Family life for me was not happy and good and joyous back then. Maybe that's why I didn't want to read it now; it reminded me of unhappy times.

M.K. said...

That was all very interesting to read, GJ! Thank you. Your life sounds rich and rewarding, and your parenting years full of joy. I'm glad you could add music to your family's life!

no spring chicken said...

Hidden Art and Open Heart are 2 of the books that have been reread and borrowed out the most from my own library. I myself found such elation in Edith's books. Her language is my language and what she had to say fed/feeds my soul. I still reread it every other year or so...

Blessings, Debbie

Cindy Rollins said...

Our bibliographies are similar, I also read Open Heart, Open Home and have vivid memories of its effect on me.

Also I like your perspective on the 'shoulds' and I am glad you brought that up. I don't want to see anyone burdened down by shoulds while reading this book.

Anita said...

I enjoyed your post so much. I haven't read either of these books and will add them to my list. There is so much here that I can relate to. My daughters took piano lessons from our church pianist, even though we could barely afford them.